WOXY Off The Air
Posted: March 24, 2010 Filed under: Terrible | Tags: Cincinnati, Music, WOXY Comments Off
This is more than a day late already, but I thought I would at least comment on the passing of an import source of music during my college years. Internet radio-station WOXY went off the air as of yesterday due to the loss of their financial backing. Over the years WOXY has exposed me to many of my favorite national and local Cincinnati artists and while I was sad to see them move to from Cincy to Austin I still enjoyed their broadcast. Their constant stream of live in studio bands has remained a major fraction of my iTunes library and I will be sad to see it go.
The station has been raised from the dead before but it looks like this time, according to the DJ’s who work the mics, it is unlikely. I hope Mike, Shiv, and Joe have an easy enough time transitioning from WOXY and that someone puts them behind a DJ desk soon.
Oh, Canada!
Posted: February 28, 2010 Filed under: Random, Terrible | Tags: Canada, Music, Nickelback, Olympics Comments OffAnyone else watch the closing ceremonies? I think may have Canada invented a new kind national embarrassment. Closing and opening Olympic ceremonies are always a little hard to watch for me. If it’s not the interpretive dances that invoke the traditions of indigenous peoples that have been long destroyed or marginalized, it’s the parade of the aged pop stars. Canada raised the bar on with this one. There were celebrities, most notably William Shatner, joking about Canadian life, like having sex and a canoe and having the inevitable injury you suffer from doing so covered by their awesome health care. Then came the parade of things from everyday Canadian life like, Mounties, Hockey, giant inflatable beavers, sentient maple leafs? The only thing missing was a giant prop of maple syrup pouring over slabs of Canadian Bacon.
Was the ceremony written by a American? Seriously, I want to know, because either Canadians are the most self aware and hilarious people ever or an American who has never been to Canada. As far as I’m concerned that’s all Canada is, maple syrup and Curling, with a few beavers.
The embarrassing thing is, this all that we as North American’s apparently have to offer. Russia’s presentation during the games was all about their culture, with the perfect symphonies and ballet, the Sputnik satellite and Red Square. They even had a creepy moment when the Soviet era national anthem, unearthed and reinstated by Valdamir Putin, was sung to the crowd invoicing cold war memories I’ve garnered from “Hunt for Red October”. Okay, maybe this stuff was over the top and dreamed of power and relevance long lost but you get the point. Even that tough is slightly better than what Canada and any future USA, or for that matter London, ceremony was or is gonna be. It seems that we do not have a history anymore but a series of celebrities that we bring out from stasis when we need them the most.
There is one thing that Canada can be proud about though, and that’s the proformances of Nickelback and Avril Lavigne. Two true Canadian treasures.
We Are The World 25 for Haiti
Posted: February 14, 2010 Filed under: Terrible | Tags: Haiti, Kanye West, Lil Wayne, Music, T-Pain, Tony Bennett, Tony Bennett is Bored, We Are The World, We Are The World 25 Comments Off
Everyone should be doing what they can to help the people of Haiti right now. I gave to the Red Cross international relief fund and recently a bunch of pop musics greatest stars decided to re-record Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie’s “We Are The World”. All the procceeds are going to relief in Haiti, but I can’t help think that maybe Lil Wayne and the rest of the talent could spend a little less money on making it rain on hoes and little more directly on Haiti. Then again, what do I know?
Now I’m not gonna defend the original, it’s a terrible song. Yet all the people being there seemed more natural, like there where having a good time and just happened to be helping Africa. The new one on the other hand, feels like a bunch of self important assholes, my point being proven by the fact that Kanye is there. The only thing I can’t fault the song for is when Jamie Foxx does Ray Charles’ part in his Ray Charles impression. A forced but nice touch.
Quite possibly the worst thing about the whole abortion is the fact that everyone is Auto-Tuned, and I mean everyone, even Tony Bennett. I can understand T-Pain breaking out the chrome pipes, because that is what he does, but everyone’s signing has those little robotic glitches that have made main stream pop unlistenable. I would rather they have all sung like T-Pain than have those little annoying glitches that are the hallmark of over polish and over production.
Why the hell did I just write all this about a self serving pop relief effort? No idea. Maybe I’ve snapped and I don’t want anymore remakes of my childhood. Maybe I was disappointed that Kanye didn’t make Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, and Nick Jonas cry and continue upsetting Disney music stars. Honestly, though, I would feel pretty good if someone reads this and gets upset enough at me to buy the song and video out of spite. It would mean at least one more person is getting fed tonight in Haiti.
Also here’s the Red Cross link again, just in case you want to spite me more. Also Stillerstrong just to give another donating venue.
P.S. Just as I posted this I received an email thanking me for another monthly donation to the Red Cross. Don’t hate just because I have a bigger heart than you.
P.P.S. I’m seriously heading to the record store now to do another Bargain Bin. Sick of writing about Lil Wayne.
Lil Wayne – Rebirth
Posted: February 5, 2010 Filed under: Reviews, Terrible | Tags: Blakroc, Lil Wayne, Microsoft Songsmith, Music, Rebirth Comments Off
Okay, this is gonna be a short one because I haven’t actually listened to the album except for the 30 second samples on Amazon. I’ll start off by saying that I loved Tha Carter III. It was over the top, the beats were tight, and when auto-tune was used some how it didn’t feel as cliche as it had become. However, Lil Wanye’s “Rock” album is anything but “tight”.
While the backing tracks for Carter III were fresh the “rock” of the current album is something straight out of Microsoft Songsmith. Just listen to the song “Ground Zero”. It sounds like the throw away scraps from an 80′s hair band as reproduced through the MIDI of a Geocities website. “Drop the World” sounded like it was gonna work, with Wayne rapping in his funky fresh, broken flow. Unfortunately the song then devolves into the worst imitation of Fred Durst that will haunt my dreams for a long time. “One Way Trip” has an awesome line about Wayne’s dick going to the ceiling, but thats about all I can say.
Weezey, I know you’ve got it rough now with the jail sentence and all, but come on man. Why did you have to make it even harder by making quite possibly the worst album of the year. Rap/Rock may feel like a tempting combo, but it is rarely successful. Blakroc is a great example of it working, though not really. The music The Black Keys laid out on that album is more soul than “rock”. So I guess the moral is don’t try the combo, period. It sucks.
2010 Grammy’s: Awww, Yeah. Smooth.
Posted: February 1, 2010 Filed under: Terrible | Tags: Beyonce, Beyonce Sucks, Grammy's, Grammy's 2010, Kings of Leon, Kings of Leon Sucks, Lady Gaga, Lady Gaga Has A Penis, Music 1 Comment »I called it. The Grammy’s decided to go with the whitest and most generic artist they could, aka Taylor Swift. Beyonce totally got shafted because she is not white enough and can dance in a provocative manner. Way to go Grammy’s. The sad part is that Beyonce was the most legitimate artist nominated for the album of the year award… also record of the year. Seriously, Kings of Leon should not have won record of the year, they are terrible.
One thing I can thank the Grammy’s for is not further legitimizing Lady Gaga. She ain’t original, she ain’t shocking, and she has a penis (also not shocking, I have one too).
Some Advice for the Would Be Remixer
Posted: January 19, 2010 Filed under: Terrible | Tags: Diplo, Music, Remix, Spoon Comments OffHi!
So you’ve decided to embark on your first remix as musician, great! Here is a quick what not to do. Don’t spend the last 2 minutes of the track fading out. Fade outs should be in the range 10-30 seconds. This remix of Spoon’s “Don’t You Evah” by Diplo fades out for what feels like 2 to 3 minutes. It has to rank as one of the most awkward tracks I have ever heard.
Rubber Cement – Davis, CA 1/15/10
Posted: January 16, 2010 Filed under: Terrible | Tags: Davis, MOM, Music, Rubber Cement Comments Off
Burger thrown at me during MOM's performance. I took a bite.
Noise/Experimental shows have to be a joke that only a few people are in on. Either they are to see if anyone in the audience is nodding their head and getting into it or watching someone squirm and see how long they will actually put with it. Whatever the reason for it’s existence Noise is one of those genres that was not interesting the first time someone learned how to make an electronic instrument squeal and yet it somehow continues to prey on the tone deaf and pretentious. Every musician knows how to make Noise and has, especially when they break out a new piece of equipment. The real musician, however, keeps their noodling to themselves or possibly uses it as inspiration for a flourish or extra layer of sound on a track. For the Noise artist this is their bread and butter. They subject us to their incessant drivel as if it had real substance like a middle schooler drawing a comic in his notebook after reading Spawn for the first time and submitting it as an art project.
I would like to describe each act individually but there would be no point. The first acts 60 cycle hum. Grandmother Ham’s botched multimedia presentation showing he was cool enough to use an internet meme, MOM becoming a joke of her former self (to much vagina), Rubber Cement’s Power Rangers rip-off. All of it was pointless as it was disinteresting. The only shinning light of the show was one of the noise acts actually cringing during Rubber Cement. It made my night. There is no merit to any of it as each act was as uninspiring as the last, each trying to carve out their little Noise niche but failing to do anything original. Even MOM’s former crazy antics and food related projectiles have become old hat.
I the end Noise is more like performance art than real music. This would be a reasonable distinction except that organizations like KDVS parade them out like a real act. They put them forward as something legitimate to be appreciated as music. I beg to differ.
